I'm drinking a beer right now, and I am over 40.

That statement above is a big part of why even though I originally had dropped a few pounds, I have since gained them back and I am, more or less (okay, maybe less one pound) where I started.

I had that utterly stupefying sheets/blanket/comforter injury two weeks ago. And since then, my knee has mostly healed, but there are days it hurts too much to walk up and down the however many steps there are in my office building. I blame the poor healing on age.

I also blame the general difficultly in losing weight on age. In past attempts, when I was in my 20s and 30s, I could always drop a few pounds in a short period of time, and usually keep it off for a good chunk of time. Now it is nearly impossible to take the weight off. And when I did, well, it found me again.

I am back to larger portions and eating sweets, but not every day as I did before. I just got too bored, sad, whatever, to live that way. And we have had some good beverages around here lately. I used to average about one, maybe two, drinks a week. Now I have a drink about six nights a week. Just one drink, but when that drink is sometimes kahlua and cream, well... And Pittsburgh Popcorn Company is the devil, let me tell you.

And with the stupid frigid weather, who wanted to be outside?

This past week, I did take a lunchtime walk three times and then did the stairs two days. So I have not gone completely soft. But I have gotten lazy with the hand weights and squats. And I have done push-ups only a few times in the past week.

I am not giving up, just lowering my expectations and kind of feeling a little sorry for myself. But, still, I am eating better, I am moving some. So I have to focus on the positive.

A nightmare's setback

On Thursday night, after a particularly grueling, long work week, I was having a nightmare kind of early on into my sleep (I think it was around 12:15 a.m.). I recall thinking that I needed to be able to get out of my room before the door, which was really like an elevator, closed, as it was between floors and I would be trapped. Apparently, I tried to kick my way out, as when I woke up, my right knee was in quite a bit of pain. I was hoping, in my groggy state, that I might have just been dreaming about the pain. But, alas, when I woke up about six hours later, my knee still really hurt. And Mr. Bear, the little pink bear I have slept with since college, was halfway across the room. Not sure what that was about!

After explaining my limping to coworkers, I realized that I must have kicked really hard, and because I was underneath the covers, I must have twisted my knee. I might even have some broken blood vessels (or they could have been there before). Fortunately, the husband was not in bed at the time, or I am guessing I would have really hurt him.

In any event, this means my exercise has been and will probably continue to be a little limited for a few days. Fortunately, I lifted weights and did a bit of walking and stair climbing on Thursday. But Friday, I pretty much just hobbled up the stairs and back down at work (force of habit) once. I did walk to lunch, but it was slow going. Yesterday, I did a little walking, but only to get from my parked car to a swim meet and back. Today was just a bit of walking with errands.

I think tomorrow (or maybe tonight) I will at least try to do some arm weight. But anything involving my legs and bending is out. Oh, squats, I miss you. And push-ups, I will not miss you (but I did struggle through six this morning).

Hopefully I can get back on track soon. And I also hope I don't have any more crazy dreams like that!

Six push ups

I am up to six okay push-ups (five pretty decent ones). If I keep this up, I should easily be able to hit 10 in a month. If I stick with it. 

So far the exercising and eating is going pretty well. Friday we took a decent walk at work, at least 20 minutes but maybe more. Then a couple hours later we walked up and down the stairs. I did two at a time for a few flights to give the glutes a good workout. Saturday I cannot remember what I did. Sunday we walked around doing errands. Yesterday, we took about a 20 or so minute walk at lunch. Today was also that long.

I have also been lifting weights. I am shooting for twice a week, though three times would be ideal. I did it twice last week and again tonight. I try to do squats and some type of ab exercises four times a week. I throw in some lunges a couple days. And I am trying to do push-ups five times a week.

I continue to eat less, but I do have seconds most nights (though not as big of portions as I used to). I am definitely eating less at work and eating less sweets in general. I actually turn people down at times when they offer me food. 

The most important thing I am trying to do/remember is that anything is better than nothing. So if I go days without doing something or if a eat a lot, I try not to beat myself up about. I can always right back to it; no need to give up!

My weight was down to 153.5 for two days this weekend, but it was back up to 155.3 the past two days. It is obviously going to be quite difficult to get back down below 150. But some progress is better than none. And I do feel better/notice a difference. 

Now that is progress.

A little cardio

Tuesday, thanks to hell pretty much freezing over, I got very little exercise. Other than 10 minutes walking from the parking garage to the office, the steps in the garage and the office, and the reverse trip, that was it. 

Yesterday, I did even less cardio, but I did break out the 8 lb. weights and to do a bunch of arm, shoulder, leg, back, and ab stuff. I also managed four push-ups. They were not pretty, but I think I can be up to a solid five in another week.

Today was better cardio wise. I had the usual bus-related walk in the morning, but we also walked about 25 or so minutes outside at lunch. Later in the afternoon, I took a solo stair walk. In just over six minutes, I walked up and down the 258 steps, plus another trip up and back our 75 steps. I managed to jog up the one set of 75 early on, which winded me. But I did get a lot of steps in. I did okay eating. Whereas I would normally have had two donuts, I had 2/3 of one. Progress!

I ended the day walking about 10 minutes to a friend's car and then around Phipps. And we had a small dinner. Because of yesterday's weights, I skipped all the weight and leg/arm stuff, other than four not-pretty push-ups.

Here's hoping this weekend goes well. I really do feel as if I am making progress. Even my clothes, after just one week, feel a little less tight. 

A lot of steps

Let me first start off by saying that when I weighed myself this morning, I was back up 1.5 pounds. But I won't let that discourage me too much. I want to get back in shape and eat better/less as much as I want to lose weight.

It is cold right now. I think hell may have frozen over or it might soon. This morning, I was parked even farther away from the bus, so I had about a four-minute walk. I got off at the closer stop, which meant about three or so minutes. Then it was up the steps to the building and up the 75 steps upstairs.

After lunch, some coworkers and I walked down the 75 steps to the first floor; walked up the over 250 stops to the 9th floor; did some lunges, squats, and wall push ups; walked down the over 250 steps to the first floor; and then back up the 75 steps to our floor. I might have pulled a muscle while doing some of the lunges, but fortunately felt better within an hour (ah, age).

I did not snack at work, which is what I was doing like crazy the last month or so of last year. I had a large portion of tortellini and an apple for lunch. And I did have one piece of dark chocolate during our hall walk. But that was it.

I had my usual walk down to the bus and then back to my car, in real-feel temps of around -10 or so. Then I had a reasonable dinner with just a few bites for seconds. 

I think today was quite successful. My kid, like most others, has no school tomorrow so not sure how much movement I will get. We shall see.

Progress

This weekend was pretty good eating and exercise-wise. On Saturday, we ran some errands, which meant a little moving. I had a small bowl of mac and cheese, and a couple of bites for seconds, which is less than normal for me.

Saturday afternoon I met a friend for coffee at a bookstore, and even though I normally would have gotten a mocha something or other with whipped cream, for the first time in years, I ordered a hot tea instead. I put a little cream and sugar, but that was a huge deal for me. I also walked almost the entire length of the plaza and back, rather than get in my car to head to another store. Dinner went pretty well also.

Today, we took a hike in the woods, and got about 40 or so minutes of walking in, including quite a few hills. I seem to recall that same hike being easier late this summer/early fall, but that could have had something to do with the snow and mud today as much as it did the shape I am in.

For dinner, although I did not have my usual second bowl of pasta (cheese tortellini in this case), I did have a few additional bites as well as some cheese sticks. All in all, I ate less, even if just a little, than normal.

And before I got ready for bed, I did some lunges, squats, calf raises, and stomach things. I also did almost three push ups. I don't think I will ever get back to the 25 (or maybe it was even 30) I could do in 2001, but I am shooting for 10 in the next few months. 

I am happy to report I weighed 155.5 both this morning and yesterday. I hate that I have to get excited for that number, but it sure beats the 157-157.5 I have been weighing the past few weeks.

Here's hoping I have some more good things to report this week, but with a dangerous cold front coming, I have low expectations. Still, any days I can cut back on eating and/or move a bit are better than days on end of eating a lot/a lot of bad things and sitting around.

It was kind of like walking on the beach!

This morning in the Burgh the windchill was about -6. Yikes. By the time lunchtime rolled around, the real-feel temp was around 0, which I decided would be just fine for a walk.

I had on a long-sleeve t-shirt, a wool sweater, a very thick Pirates coat, leggings, jeans, two pairs of socks, thick men's boots, a Pens winter hat, and a Pittsburgh scarf. I headed over to Phipps and walked rather briskly. I made it from my office in about 15 minutes, and when I walked in, I was sweating! Only my nose and cheeks were cold.

I spent about five minutes walking around the place, before I headed back for the 15-minute return trip. One thing I noticed about parts of the walk was the uneven snow in some places made it tough to walk, and it reminded me of walking on the sand at the beach. So I figured I kind of got in a bonus workout!

My lunchtime walk also meant I got to walk about up the 75 office steps a second time.

Throw in the usual bus-related walking, and all in all, it was a good exercise day.

And, I did pretty well eating today. Much less than I usually do. I did have a small handful of M & Ms, which I completely blame on my coworker who reminded me about my stash. I resisted for awhile, but gave in later. Still, not bad.

Progress.

Accountability

I am a little embarrassed that I have not written a post for over eight months. Unfortunately, my fitness has gone downhill, and my weight has gone up. I am hopeful if I take the time to write about it, I will be encouraged (or shamed) to get off my butt and move!

This blog was never meant to be about weight loss, but it has come down to that. And since almost no one reads this blog to begin with, I am just going to lay it all out there, in a rather boring way. But I think it will help me.

So let me begin.

The summer of 1989, when I was 17 1/2 and getting ready to head off to PSU, I gained about 8 to 10 pounds and weighed 150. That has been my weight, other than some high and low points, which I will list below, for the past 24 and a half years. To me, 150 is an okay weight for my 5' 8" body. I feel better when I am just below 150, but that is mostly because when I go to the doc, I like it when the scale notch is at 100 pounds, and the nurse has to slide the thing (to the end for sure) from there. I do not like it when I am on the 150 notch and I feel a little embarrassed when the nurse has to move the slider thing five or more pounds past the 150 notch.

My weight has gotten to about 155 probably a handful of times since the summer of '89. Following are the most notable times, not including when I was pregnant:

• Several months into my freshman year, the fall of 1989
• At different points in my sophomore and junior years; the summer between those years my parents separated, which put me at one of my heaviest (156 or so)
• Sometime around 1997 or 1998; I recall my roommate and I looking at pics of ourselves and being horrified.
• The first year I was married (1999-2000); I might have actually hit 158.
• Fall-winter of 2008-2009
• The past four months, and I am now at pretty much my heaviest, 157 pounds

I also have lost weight a number of times since 1989:

• When I first got to PSU in 1989; I did not eat that much at first.
• When I got mono in the middle of 1990 (which helped erase the weight game of late 1989)
• At the beginning of my senior year in 1992 (several months into a new relationship)
• In the winter of 1993-1994, when I broke up with my (last) college boyfriend. I was down to 142, my lowest since my senior year in high school. I was back home and I did a lot of snow shoveling!
• Sometime in 1997 to 1998, after the roommate and I realized we needed to start exercising again. Aerobics was our savior.
• A few months into my second year of marriage (gaining five to seven pounds during that first year was horrifying). I worked with a personal trainer and had pretty low body fat. I could even do 25 push-ups!
• The spring of 2009; I was around 147-149 for over four years; unemployment and swimming, running, and walking kept the weight off and me in shape.
• I also got to my lowest (again) in late 2010, when my mom was really sick. I stayed around 142-145 for only a few months. I don't recommend stress and constant worry as a diet aid.

I can say that when my weight starts to get around 152 or 153, I tend to take action. I am pretty sure once during my four years of hardly working I was around there, but put the kibosh on any further weight gain.

So what is happening to me now? Well, a big part of it is that I used to walk up and down about 600 steps going to and from my office. It took me eight minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes on the way back (because most of the almost 300 steps were up!). My thighs were pretty darn toned.

Unfortunately, since around August 21, I been taking the bus. My walk now consists of almost three minutes from my car to the bus, all flat, and about three to five minutes (depending on when I get off) from the bus stop to my office, just a slight grade. On the way home, I always get on the closer (three minutes away) stop. So 18 minutes and a huge hill has turned into about 13 minutes and mostly flat land. I do walk about 75 steps in the morning, but it is nothing like the almost 300 one way I used to. Some coworkers and I walk during lunch, but not the 20-30 minutes we used to and not every day. And I did next to nothing when I was off for over 1.5 weeks.

I could sense I was gaining weight a month into my bus riding, and I also started eating more. For many weeks I did not get on a scale. Once I did, I was past the creeping up weight. I waited another month or so, and when I weighed myself over break, there it was, staring me in the face.

I don't have a big plan. I can say I did some sit-ups on 12/30 and 1/1. I almost did two push ups on the 30th; pretty sad. Today, did a little jumping and shadow boxing for all of a couple of minutes. And I forced myself to walk up and down the steps at home a bunch of times. But several of those trips were to get food. Sigh. I did take about a 20-25-minute walk in the snow early this evening. Part of my street is hilly, so I went up that hill three times.

So far nothing I have done is great, and I have cut back on my eating only a little (compared to what I ate during the past two weeks, I have cut back).

But you have to start somewhere, and every little bit counts.

Until next time. And here is hoping next time will come soon! A special thanks to my friend Cherlee, who inspired me to get back on the horse!